1 Month Update!

Emma is a month today! Already! I cant believe shes already a month old, plus I cant believe I have been home for that long (except for her doctors appt. and v-day.). Our next appt is next monday! And starting from this weekend I plan to go out an get some fresh air and do some light shopping. I cant wait!

Its been quite tough being home all day long with a newborn. I knew it would be a lot of work, but honestly no one will ever know exactly how much work it is until becoming a mother themselves. Many times I feel very lost, lonely and overwhelmed esp. when she is crying non-stop, but once I take a step back, a deep breath and take a look into Emma's eyes, I see the purest little soul that I created and she just amazes me. The thought of her precious life in my arms regains my strength.

As for her eating and sleeping routine, there is nothing set, but below is roughly our day.

Morning-Afternoon
-Wake up around 5-6am to nurse.
-Between 7am-12pm we nap and I nurse either once or twice depending on when shes napping.
-Between 12pm-6pm I nurse every 2-3 hrs, so about 3 times and 2-3 naps in between.

Night
-Between 7pm-11pm I nurse about 2 times and she takes 2 short naps.
-Wakes up at around 12-1am to nurse.
-Then around 3am to nurse.

If she goes back to sleep right away she will wake up around 5 or 6 to nurse, if not I will be up with her trying to put her back to sleep. She might be up until 5 sometimes even longer....

Every night is different but I am slowly learning how to put her back to sleep faster at night.

Also in the beginning she was pretty good at sleeping on her own at least during the daytime, but now for some reason its harder for her. She gets very fussy and needs to be held to fall asleep. I think it might be because she is getting bigger and more stimulated by her surroundings during the day. I have been trying to put her to sleep when I sense she is tired, because once she gets overly tired, it takes so much longer and she gets very fussy.

With the lack of sleep its been pretty rough staying happy all the time, but I know I just have to stay positive and stay strong. I know I will be missing these days soon because she is already growing up so fast!

As for my update, as mentioned above Ive been having my ups and downs, but for the most part its been a blessing. I was worried I was starting to fall into postpartum depression, but I feel much better these days, so hopefully those feelings wont come back. I think my mom coming over during the weekdays have been helping a lot.

For my weight update, I have lost a few pounds, but nothing dramatic which is good. I want to loose weight slowly so it stays off. Plus, because Im breastfeeding I have been careful on reducing my portions too much. But for the past month, a typical meal (at least two times a day) for me looks like this:

Seaweed soup, brown rice, lettuce, dried seaweed, avocado, (beans, anchovies, spinich) - all korean style side dishes.


Yum!

-Jess

Becoming a Stay At Home Mom

Now that Emma is finally here, I have been getting questions on whether I will be staying home or going back to work. For as long as I can remember, if it was financially possible, I always wanted to become a stay at home mom at least until my child is ready to go to pre-school. This was important to me because my mom was always a working mom. I never felt I had a close bond with her as a child. Looking back to when I was a toddler, I hardly remember any memories spent with her and this always made me sad.

I want Emma to have many memories of me spending time with her and I want to build a close relationship with her starting from when she is young, so she wont be afraid to talk to me about anything as she is growing up. I think that was one of the main problems my mom and I developed as I was growing up. Communication. Our relationship is better today, but I think we started too late. It was only when I started battling with depression starting in my early college years, my mom and I really became close. Before that I never felt I could open up to her about my problems because I didn't think she would understand. My mom still tells me today how much she regrets not being able to take care of me more when I was younger. She was in a situation where she had to work with my dad in order to support my brother and I so I definitely don't blame her. I am so thankful for her, but it would have been nice to have her in my life more when I was a kid.

Right now we are fortunate to be able to make ends meet with just my husband working, so we have decided for me to stay home to take care of Emma for at least the first few years of her life. He is currently working with his father who owns a hat manufacture, so our future plan is for me to join them once Im ready to work again.

For someone who has been working nonstop since college, staying at home has been great so far. But I might feel this way because I was never really a career driven women. Many of my old colleagues told me that as much as I will love my baby, I would really get sick of staying home and want to go back to work by the 8th month or so. I guess right now its too early to tell, but so far I really love it. I love knowing I will be home with my baby as she grows.

-Jess

2 Weeks Postpartum

This past Wed. Emma became two weeks old! The days seem long, but the weeks seem to be zooming by!

Yesterday she had her first doctors checkup for her two weeks postpartum. She gained about a pound, so she is now 7lbs 5oz. The doctor said its not bad, but she is on the skinny side so she can be fed more. In the next two weeks he would like her to be about 9 lbs. Other then that she looks great! Her shots will be given in her next appointment which is in another two weeks.

Its only been two weeks, but I already see her growing every single day! I can see her developing and adjusting herself outside of the womb very well. She is definitely much more calmer and laid back then her first week. She is also staying up a bit longer in between her next feed and nap. Its so cute to see her just kind of stare in to space. Also she has been making good eye contact and giving us smiles here and there. My friend told me since this early on babies don't know what a smile is, it means they are farting. Ha ha ha.

Eating:
I have been exclusively breastfeeding and she has been eating well and latching on pretty good, but unfortunately not all the time, so I decided to hold off on pumping for another 2 weeks. She has also been pretty gassy and fussy in the first week, but I noticed in her second week she has been getting better at letting gas out more easily. I've been also watching what I eat to try and reduce the gas.

Sleeping:
Currently during the day her naps are about 1.5-2.5 hrs long. She has about 3 or 4 of them. At night she is doing much better then before which is about 3 hrs long but it varies night to night. However, she has not been sleeping in her crib yet (nighttime only). We try everyday to get her to sleep in there, but she gets very fussy, so we end up co- sleeping with her. At first I was really nervous to do it, but its the only way that has been working for us so we can all sleep! I'm still going to keep trying to have her sleep in her own crib though.

As for my update, I can say I'm pretty much recovered other then some light bleeding. Its also still a bit sore down there, but it doesn't really bother me. Also I'm currently producing oversupply, so I'm waiting until my milk production stabilizes. My boobs get engorged many times during the day and start leaking, which can get pretty annoying. Im gonna have to get some breastfeeding pads this weekend.

In regards to my weight gain during this pregnancy, I gained a total of 46 lbs.

At 5ft'1in.:
Pre-pregnancy weight: About 110
Highest pregnancy weight: 156
Current weight: 131

Goal weight: 100 lbs (before marriage!)

I have about 30 lbs to go! Wow sounds like a lot, but gotta do it or else I have no clothes to wear!

For the past week I started stretching and going on the bike machine for about 20-30 min each day. Also started some dance central with the hubby the other night. I have to work on doing it routinely though.

My diet has been pretty good but could do better on the portions. Since I'm home all day I keep snacking after meals. But!! Yesterday I splurged since it was Valentines day! I was waiting to eat sushi for 10 months!!

It tasted amazing!

Other goodies from my husband :)
When am I going to loose weight??

-Jess

Emma Ga in Lee- Labor Story!

The night before I went into labor, my husband and I finally got to enjoy eating the oxtail soup I was slow cooking all day. But before bedtime my stomach started to ache. The pain was not bad at all and it was on and off. I just thought it was the oxtail soup that didn't fit well with my stomach.

I was able to sleep, but every time I woke up to go to the bathroom I felt the ache. I just ignored it because it really wasn't bad. By morning the ache started to feel more like cramping and the feeling started to get a little bit stronger. I even felt a sharp pinch down there, but still didn't think much of it and woke up to make breakfast.

At about 9am when I went to the bathroom to pee a small gush of water just came out even before peeing. Then at that point I knew what just happened. I looked down at the toilet and saw a tinge of red and mucous like liquid in the water. I yelled out to my husband "my water broke!" He came in the bathroom, looked down the toilet not looking very surprised. I called my doctor and he told me to go into the hospital to get examined first. So we started to pack our things and headed out.

On our way my water kept leaking through my tights. The gushes became stronger and stronger. By the time I finished checking in and confirmed my water had been broken, they called my doctor to come in. At that point I was only 1 cm dilated.

My doctor told me they will be putting me on pitocin if I didn't progress in the next few hours. Sadly by 1pm I was still the same, so they had to start me on pitocin.

By 2:30 my contractions started to get stonger and more closer together. It didnt get that bad until about 4pm. Every time a contraction came I was clenching my teeth so hard. The nurse clearly saw how much pain I was in, so she asked me if I wanted an epidural. I tried to wait until I was at least 4 cm dilated because that is what my doctor preferred, but I just couldn't handle it any longer. I agreed and the nurse went ahead and ordered the anesthesiologist to come in to give it to me.

After the epidural started to kick in, the pain lessened, but did not go away like magic. I felt the contractions getting closer and closer, but the doctors and nurses didn't think I would be dilated until the next day! At about 7pm the nurse had another doctor check me because I showed how much pain I was in at that point. Every time I had a contraction, I felt like pushing would make it better. When the doctor came and checked me she said with shock "shes completely dilated and ready to push now!"

They called my doctor right away and by 9pm I started to push. It felt like forever. The pushing made me feel so relieved. It wasn't painful anymore. My husband and nurse were coaching me through. They were really great. Once they saw her head my husband yelled out "she has so much hair!" He kept repeating this, so I told him to be quiet! Ha ha. After two hours of pushing little Emma Lee was born @ 11:10pm.

At that point I felt nothing but relief, blessed and love. My husband and I started to cry the moment they put her on my chest.

-Jess

Emma Ga-In Lee is here!

Emma is here! She came at 38 weeks and 4 days on Jan. 30th, weighing in at 6lbs 8oz, 20" long. I feel so blessed and thankful for this amazing gift from God. The moment they put her on my chest nothing mattered anymore. She became everything. So perfect. I never thought I could love anything this much.

Its been over a week now since shes been here and things at home have completely changed. They say having a baby will change your life and boy has it changed. The first few nights were rough. We are still adjusting with her sleep and nursing times. She is definitely sleeping more during the day than at night.

For postpartum recovery, my mother has been coming generously everyday to help prepare my meals. After a women gives birth In korea we follow a strict diet of eating mee yuk gook (seaweed soup) for all three meals. Also we are restricted to stay at home for the first 30 days. Korean people believe that a womens bones are very sensitive after giving birth so it is crucial to keep cold air and water away from the body. Especially since it is winter it is recommended. I know many of my Chinese friends also had to do a similar ritual after giving birth. They seem to have more stricter rules though. I guess it varies between families. Anyhow, she has been so helpful, especially keeping me sane with all the sleep deprivation and staying inside all day. I am so thankful for her.

The pup and kitty seem to be adjusting ok with with their new sibling. Hehe. They have been pretty calm about it. They are always still curious with what's she's doing, but other than that they seem fine with the new addition.

Introducing Emma:

-Jess