A few weeks ago I received an email from someone I was
seeing about 3 years ago. The subject was “Hi.” That was it. I’m a very curious
person so I couldn’t resist to see what this guy had to say to me after all
these years. Mind you we ended on a bad note so this made me even more curious.
I replied back “Hi?” and his response was that his email was sending out “Hi” messages
to random people in his email list. Of course I don’t believe this, but just
played along. He then went on and asked me if anything was new and how I was
doing.
Within 3 years I got married and got pregnant with my 2nd
child so yes, a lot has happened but of course I didn’t mention this to him
since our relationship didn’t go that deep to begin with. I told him everything
was great and I hope he is doing well too. Surprisingly in the next email, he
told me how he was sorry for treating me the way he did and that he was not in
a good place in his life during that time to start a serious relationship. I
knew this feeling because I was the same way. I was in fact in the worst
condition of my life when I was with him. I told him the truth and of course
since I am in no means to start anything with him, ever, I went on to tell him
that I appreciated his words and wished him the best. Luckily he is not in NY
anymore so I don’t really have to worry about ever bumping in to him (I worry
about these things a lot). He wished me well too and told me to give him a
shout if I ever went to Cali. That was the end.
These email exchanges made me reflect on my past before
marriage. So much has changed so fast it feels so unreal sometimes. Even
through therapy and meds., I was depressed and miserable. Everything was out of
control, I’m sure if it wasn’t for my husband, I would not be the person I am
today. I am truly grateful. I think all experiences, good or bad molds you to
become the person you are in the present. I am definitely stronger and much
more confident. Sure, I miss my pre-married life, because I was having the time
of my life, but in the end of the day nothing can be better than coming home to
my baby girl and loving husband.
-Jess
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